The Grammys

or how America learn to stop worrying and embrace mediocre music

I realize I'm a little late to the game on this one. The grammy nods were released almost 2 months ago and everybody who gives a damn has already shared their opinion with the unwashed masses of the internet crowd. So why haven't I weighed in yet?

Like I said, anybody who gives a damn already has and quite frankly I don't. I stopped caring about the Grammys after I realized most of the music I loved or respected probably wouldn't win. 

Maybe I should have watched last year. I mean the Foo Fighters kicked ass and they deserved album of the year. 

"Will I watch them this year?" you ask. 

I can almost guarantee you I won't. I mean there's a new episode of the Walking Dead out that night and I honestly couldn't be bothered.

My original intent for this entry was to listen to music from artists in each of the categories and share what I think about what the National Academy of Recording Arts and Sciences says is good music this year. (according to Yahoo answers that's who chooses the winners, and why would Yahoo Answers lie?) (Now type that question into Yahoo Answers, and see what happens.)

Anyway that plan lasted about twenty minutes, in which I listened to half a dozen songs, threw a cup of water against the wall, screamed into a pillow and developed a migraine. I mean how the hell is that inspirationless Kelly Clarkson song nominated for best record?

In-between bouts of sobbing and black rage fits of swearing I took a couple of notes. Hear are my favorites:

I hope your ready for an in depth analysis of each of the categories and their nominees! This should only take about 5000 words. I'm just kidding mom and my three Facebook friends who aren't related to me. I wouldn't put you through that.

I am so sick of Taylor Swift's glasses. Taylor, you are a pop star, not a nerd. You've been famous since you were sixteen and cannot genuinely understand what it means to be a teenaged girl, no matter how many Molly Ringwald movies you've seen. Oh, I'm sorry Molly, I meant Mandy Moore movies.

I want to bitch slap the singer from Fun, just once, to see if he would cry. To be fair I haven't listened to their entire album, but what I have heard on the radio makes me want to… well make their singer cry.

Thats about as far as I got before I threw my arms up in despair and put on some Dylan to save my everlasting soul from pop-star purgatory, before falling into a deeply troubled sleep.

Never the less when I woke up this morning, I resolved to finish what I had started I played Frank Ocean's Thinkin Bout You, (He's nominated for 3 Grammy's), threw up and went to work.

Lucky for my sanity and probably for you the reader as well, one of my coworkers talked me out of continuing this self abuse.

He said exactly what I said at the beginning of this entry, anybody who gives a damn has probably already said their piece, what the hell are you going to add to the discussion. Right there he gave me an out, and I would have taken it and scrapped the whole article. But then he said something that made me decide to salvage if only to share his point.

"It's not just that the Grammy's suck because they don't recognize the music I like," he said. "The whole concept of deciding for the whole world what music is worthy and what sucks is ridiculous."

He said some other hippy crap about how we should just decide what music we like ourselves and be content with that. 

Personally I like sharing my views on music. In our overly PC society, the only times you can be a completely self righteous, sarcastic bastard are when you're talking about music or sports and sadly neither the Redskins or Colts made it past the first round this year so I'll stick to music, it's what I know best anyway. But even better I get to talk about music I love and musicians I respect, on occasion finding out about a new group from a friend or sharing a tune my buddies haven't heard before.

Still my co-worker's point is well taken. Hailing one musician or song above the rest is kind of stupid. The musician is just a person… probably a pretty talented one, but a person all the same, do we really need to inflate the egos of rock stars who spend every night getting cheered by thousands of adoring fans? 

I'd say no. And to be honest, I'm pretty excited to see weather Merle and Daryl can get out of Woodbury without killing each other.