Open Mic

About six months ago I started listening to podcasts. They’re great! Kind of like super specific online radio shows, except with bad words. Finding a few I liked, I dove into their back catalogues like a dog chasing a gopher down its hole.

During an episode of the widely popular Nerdist podcast, comedian Mike Birbiglia discussed his process for writing jokes.

Intrigued, I thought to myself “Self, you’re pretty funny. You have a blog that more then five people read. Maybe you should try writing some jokes.”

To which I responded, “Capitol plan old chum, you always have the most splendid ideas.” (Half of my inner dialogue is in posh English.)

So I sat down at my desk and wrote some stuff down, then audibly, and to absolutely no one, exclaimed. “Shit. Now I’m going to have to perform these, aren’t I.”

I put it off for a couple of weeks, but eventually I went online and found a number of Open Mics in Colorado Springs. (No! I’ve revealed my location! Now hordes of screaming blog fans will decent on the city to harass me!)

I won’t bore you with details of how well my first few sets went. (Not great) What I will do is tell you about this weird, amazing world I discovered.

The open Mic community is a strange one. It’s fluid, ever changing and always unpredictable. I’ve seen singers go up on stage, destroy, then never come back. I’ve seen good ol’ boys with a bluegrass band take the stage after a drag-burlesque show; and I’ve seen comics (usually me) bring the house down with a joke one week, only to have it fall flat the next.

(I added this picture so you'd know I'm not full of shit)

What’s stuck out to me the most over the past few months, though, is the sheer acceptance that resonates from this bizarre, quasi-community. Whatever your level of talent or experience, you can get up on the stage, swing for the fences and nobody will laugh at you… unless, you know, you want them too. I’ve heard this isn’t the case everywhere, but here in the Springs, we seem to have a decent scene going.

 So, I guess what I’m saying is, give it a try! If you play jazz trombone, jazz out. If you can belly dance, belly dance (Please!) If you have a funny story about your 3rd grade teacher, get out there and have some fun! We won’t laugh at you we promise… unless you want us to.

Fugazi

So I’ve got a lot going on this week so this will be a short one, but I had a thought today I wanted to share with all 5 of my lovely readers.

As I’ve stated before, music nerds such as myself can be condescending pricks. (You’re an Interpol fan and you’ve never listened to Joy Division? What the hell is wrong with you?)

But even the staunchest of rock n’ roll fans can be blindsided by something that just somehow slipped between the cracks.

Case in point, I’d never listened to post-hardcore pioneers Fugazi until this week. (I know! How can I even presume to call myself a punk rocker?)

I’d heard the name bandied about in interviews and by other bloggers, but for whatever reason I didn’t make the effort to check them out until watching Patton Oswalt sing their praises during his Werewolves and Lollipops stand up special, and I’m glad I finally did.

As I’m writing this I’m burning through their catalogue like a junkie in a poppy field. Vocalist, guitarist Ian MacKaye, who I’d enjoyed in Minor Threat, and the rest of the guys are, excellent at crafting punk songs that breath and build tension, while still maintaining the manic energy essential in punk.

I guess it just goes to show, you can’t know everything. I realize I’m about 20 years too late, but if you’re into punk rock check Fugazi out.   

Rock is dead… Long live rock

As anybody reading this probably already knows, Gene Simmons of legendary arena juggernaut Kiss recently declared the death of rock n’ roll during an interview for Esquire magazine.

           

Now, to be fair, Gene Simmons says a lot of stupid things, but for some reason this comment got under my skin, which is good, because it motivated me to start blogging again!

           

In the interview, conducted by his son Nick, Simmons calls out file sharing as the “murderer” of rock music and even goes so far as to tell aspiring musicians to give up now because it just ain’t worth it.

          

What the hell Gene? I realize that the unapologetic pursuit of money and fame was all your band was about, but do you really believe that’s all rock n’ roll is?

Don’t get me wrong; I think Kiss was a great band. They wrote fun, hard rocking songs at a time when everybody else in rock music was taking themselves just a bit to seriously. Kiss is the pro wrestling of music, and back in the day it was great because they never pretended to be anything other then a huge joke. Hell, they even wore clown makeup.

But now Gene Simmons, the bloody-mouthed snake-tongued demon bass player from hell, is telling kids, don’t picking up a guitar, it isn’t a fiscally responsible move.

Are you kidding me? What kind of asshole tells kids to give up on their art? Yes, record sales are in the toilet, yes labels are running scared, sure there is a glut of “talent” shows telling every 14-year-old with a decent set of pipes that fame and fortune are just television audition away.

            

GOOD!!! GREAT!!! OUTSTANDING!!!

            

Rock n’ Roll is a subversive art form. Its changing, constantly battling conformity, giving the finger to the mainstream, be that roller-skates and disco, spandex and blown out hair or dwindling iTunes sales and reality television.

In the 60s, songwriter bands like The Beatles and The Beach Boys sent the Tin Pan Alley music pimps packing. In the 70s the punks literally gave the major labels the finger, then forced them to sign them anyway. Even in the 80s when the suits thought they’d finally captured, sterilized and repackaged rock to maximize its earning potential, underground musicians performed in living rooms and basements and tiny clubs, bidding their time ‘til the worm turn once more in the form of depressed sludge-punks from Seattle.

            

Do you really think in this age of availability, when every man, woman and child can access nearly every song ever recorded at the push of a button, that new bands won’t find their audience? That this following made up of fans that actually give a shit won’t buy t-shirts or tickets to their shows? Sure record sales are down! who needs ‘em anyway? Oh right, the suits… screw em.

              

As I type these words I’m listening to U2’s new album, Songs of Innocents, which came out for free today on iTunes. It’s not the best album they’ve ever put out, but it’s a hell of a better then their last one, and I'm thinking U2 probably gets this new marketplace.

Times have changed Gene, and maybe your right. Maybe the era of “rock stars” with palaces in the hills and gold encrusted toilets is over, but I think something even better is on the horizon, an era of artists who who make a living, not a fortune; who genuinely love the music they are making and love their fans they've earned.

            

Anyway I’m done ranting, I’ll leave you with a lyric from punk-folk rocker Frank Turner, who can say in a few lines what takes me 600 words: “There’s no such thing as rock stars, There’re just people who play music, and some of them are just like us and some of them are dicks.”